you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
