My brain says no but my pants say off.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
