Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
