i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let the clothes fall where they may.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
