I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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