Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize