areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize