There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize