We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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