woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
