Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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