In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
