She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize