they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
