butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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