You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
