I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
