why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
