I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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