Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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