I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
