it wasn't lemon gatorade
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
