Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
