every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize