You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
