my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
