Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
God, I missed his penis.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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