tell your sister to shave her snatch
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
