oh god the rape fog is back!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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