So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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