So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
