Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
