he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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