i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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