he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
