I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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