My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
