I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
