haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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