Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
