he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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