Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
