Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
