If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
