it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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