Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize