I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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