if i can run in heels then i can drive
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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