FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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