i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
