after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
