I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
