Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
