yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
