I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
