Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
