She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
