He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
