tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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