There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
