Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
