I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
