nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
