I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
