ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
