I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
