he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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