um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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